Written by Emily Rigdon

Please tell us a little about your NICU story?

At 28 weeks I went in for an ultrasound and was told that my baby wasn’t growing very quickly. They took my blood pressure at this ultrasound and it was elevated, so I was admitted for 2 nights to see if it went back down. It did, thanks to a good regimen of medications. I went home and kept my fingers crossed that baby boy would keep growing as I anxiously took my blood pressure 4 times per day. At 29 weeks and 3 days, my blood pressure just kept going up. When I got a reading of 160/100 I knew I should call my OB, but I was so scared. My husband encouraged me to, though, and thank goodness we did. They asked me to go to the hospital right away, and by the time I got there it was up to 180/120. They took blood and urine samples, and sure enough, preeclampsia had set in. They started a magnesium drip, and said that if my blood pressure didn’t go down then I would be delivering that night. Even if it did go down, they said to expect to deliver within the week.

I was taken by ambulance to Brigham and Women’s Hospital since Newton Wellesley does not deliver babies before 32 weeks. At 3 am my husband and I were in a delivery room, meeting more people than I can remember (although the magnesium drip didn’t help with that). It was so scary.

Luckily, my blood pressure came back down that night. I was moved to the antepartum floor and was told we were just going to “wait and see”. For the next 4 days I had so many blood labs drawn, countless non-stress tests and fetal monitorings, and more anxiety than I had ever experienced before. All I knew was that I was going to be there until I delivered my baby, whenever that may be.

The day I hit 30 weeks, my blood results showed that damage to the liver and kidneys was starting. They came in and told me I was delivering today. While I technically got to choose between a c-section and a vaginal birth, they strongly suggested I do a c-section. That was fine with me. I just wanted baby and I to be ok.

Just a few short hours later I was on another magnesium drip while my husband gowned up. In no time we were in the OR and our beautiful baby was delivered. He weighed just over 2 pounds, and I got to briefly see him before he was brought up to the NICU for his admission. It was the start of a 56 day journey, and it certainly wasn’t easy, but we were just so thankful that he was ok and had such great care.

Is there anything you wish you had known prior to your NICU experience?

I wish I had done more to understand that an early birth was not my fault. I really struggled with self-blame, and feeling that I failed my baby. That is not the case, but I know I am not the only person who struggles with these feelings. It is so hard, but NICUs are amazing and the nurses and doctors are literal angels, so just know your babies are in the best of the best hands.

Do you have any advice for parents experiencing the NICU?

I remember the day I left the hospital without my baby. It was the worst feeling. I didn’t know how long his stay would be, I just knew we were in it for the long haul. I remember telling myself “I don’t know how you can do this”. It felt endless and terrifying. But, I did it. I survived. NICU parents become so strong. So many things feel easy compared to the NICU journey. It will feel incredible when you leave that hospital with your baby, so just keep pushing. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and support, too. If someone offers to help, take them up on it! We had people cook for us, drive me to the hospital, help with household chores, etc. It was so helpful. Just remember to take care of yourself, too. It’ll help you take care of baby! It’s ok to take a day off if you’re so exhausted and burnt out. Don’t feel guilty. You’ve got this!