Written by Mari Stonebraker

Please tell us a little about your NICU/Special care story?

We have two NICU/special care stories.

In 2019 our son was born after a long initial stage of labor (27 hours after my water had broken) followed by a rapid period in the birth canal.  When he was born, our son was blue, not crying and seemingly not breathing.  It was easily the most terrifying moment of our lives.  He was rushed to the NICU where he was placed on a CPAP machine.  We later learned his lungs were full of fluid and, in addition to assistance with his breathing, he required a feeding tube as well as a course of antibiotics to prevent pneumonia.  The formal diagnosis was TTN.  We were lucky enough to take him home a week later, although I always say that the days feel like weeks in the NICU.

Going into labor with our daughter, we were terrified that she would also be born with TTN.  The nurses told us that, provided she was OK, they would try and place her on me for one minute after she was born before fully checking her out.  Admittedly, I found this prospect terrifying after what had happened with our son.  With our son it felt like we didn’t have a minute to spare.  When our daughter was born her cry – something we did not hear with our son – was musical.  Being large for gestational age, she ended up requiring a much shorter stay in special care to regulate her blood sugar.  She was able to come home with us on the day I was discharged.

Is there anything you wish you had known prior to your NICU experience?

That NICU mothers are much more likely to experience postpartum depression and anxiety.  With our son my postpartum anxiety, in particular, was overwhelming at times.  I will be forever grateful for the help I received during my postpartum period.  I encourage all NICU mothers to seek out support – be it formal therapy or support groups.

Do you have any advice for parents experiencing the NICU?

It is not your fault that your baby is in the NICU. Trust that this experience does not make you any less of a capable parent.  Trust that, while the NICU will always be part of your story, your relationship with your baby will be more than the NICU.